En route to the farm on Easter Sunday, I rounded the second ninety degree corner on a wet morning, jamming to Beyoncé, and I started to fishtail. Unable to regain control, my truck swerved off the road, down an embankment, swung around a tree, and came to a stop against a thicket of saplings. A quick body scan revealed that I had all my fingers and toes, everything could move, and, despite trembling, I was fine— how, I’m unsure.
As I rose from the wreckage, a very nice family stopped to help me; the matriarch was already on the phone with 911, having witnessed my epic twirl. She said in a slight drawl, “Are you ok? Oh, we were praying for you. Are you sure you’re ok? You’re bleeding on your forehead.” Indeed, I had a wound— but it wasn’t from this wreck.
In a completely unrelated incident just one week prior— an evening that did not involve any driving— I had one too many beverages. I did, in fact, fall and smack my little head on the pavement. This left me with an embarrassing story and scratch on my forehead; I’m 23 and get to make this kind of mistake. I’ve cut out alcohol completely. No, I don’t have a problem, but it certainly was a wakeup call: and now it’s a challenge to myself. The timeframe until I drink again is indefinite. I don’t know when I’ll break my stride of sobriety.
So, I sat in the family’s minivan while the Highway Patrol came. They asked, and with a heavy sigh, I was reluctant to tell them what I do for living. “But I swear I’m a decent pilot,” I defended myself. And like a true pilot, I’ve replayed the incident over and over in my head.What was the cause? What could I have done better? I’d driven this road hundreds of times, intimately knowing every curve and the next turn. The conclusion I’ve surmised is that I hydroplaned.
I wish I had some shocking revelation, a piece of truth gleaned from the accidents. But nothing major has hit me yet, other than the ground and some foliage.
As my grandpa so eloquently said, “Poo poo occurs.”
So my truck, while probably fixable, is heading to where all broken little trucks go— a place where Jesus will take the wheel.
3 thoughts on “Crash and Burn”
Love you,darling! Take good care of yourself – we need you to twirl, twirl, twirl!
Thank goodness you’re okay! We are sometimes defenseless against hydroplaning. No doubt you are an awesome pilot, maybe even better now, having been reminded that mama nature occasionally has her own ideas about navigation! And a little (or a lot) of sobriety, never hurt anyone. Take care!
I can relate so completely to your over analyzing, for I have done the same and Cap’n, I humbly offer you ten thousand apologies for my large role in the crash and burn of something that has inspired me from deep within- I am sorry that I failed to recognize the respect I wish I’d given your kind soul until it was too late, sorry I was so crass in my frustration, and so terribly sorry I focused on your faults, ignoring my own. I am sorry most of all love, for letting you down in my promise to never hurt you. It is with our crash and burn that I’ve learned so much about myself, and it is with shattered heart and tear stained eyes that I ask for your forgiveness- that I wish to let you go out of love, not hate- that I sincerely hope you find someone who sees you as I did, and makes you feel for them, the same pride I felt in being your friend.
Thank you for patiently comforting me through your thoughtful words, for teaching me the power of strength, love, and courage, and igniting the best in me with your unabashed beauty! Please hold on to and take care of the sweet, kind, and courageous man I’ve admired in you from the start, I pray that you move forward to find peace, with or without me, and that one day our paths may cross once more, having each grown as we need to; for oh how I yearn to astrophysics and chill with such a radiant cutie! So Jesus, take the wheel!
You remain the captain, oh and I will tend my charts. Sailing into destiny…
you’ve surely grown my heart :3
I thank you for your part,
Inspiring my art,
For peace we must depart
Although it breaks my heart, :’/
this way I feel,
Closer to your heart ❤
Bon voyage babe