Demise to Arise

The dawn breaks, birds start chirping and I, well, I am not fond to witness such a travesty. I know the earth does it every single day, and I’m sure it’s a miracle. But it’s not my thing to be conscious during that time.

I am not a morning person. And I don’t mean that in the it’s-a-bummer-to-wake-up sense. Every morning is an ascension from my restful dream state through the bowels of reality, finally emerging to a new day— to put it lightly.

So, where’s the coffee?

Because I have to put blame somewhere, I’ll point the finger at my erratic schedule. I don’t have the luxury of a 9 to 5 office job where routine reigns supreme. Some mornings, I’m awake at 3:00 for an early van, other days I’m off work at midnight. Admittedly, it is nice to see the sunrise from 36,000 feet, trekking along to some destination. But that’s at work. And due to the nature of my work, I don’t take anything home with me, other than the bullshit I might spill about whatever random crewmember acted a fool. On my off days, I have no semblance of a schedule, other than things I might want to do. And I’ve approached myself many times with that same mantra in creating a morning routine. In fact, my dry erase board at home says, “Things I Should Probably Do” and my journal prompt is “What would you like to do today?”

 

IMG_2320
One of the only reasons worth arising so early

I don’t have one— because I’m battling the demon inside who wants to stay in bed until noon. And sometimes (ok most times) I let myself do that, because nothing is pressing to get me out of bed. No dog, no husband, no other pesky dependents who rely on my immediate assistance. And I’m not necessarily wanting a reason, either, other than the sole purpose of being semi-productive. Again, I pose that question to myself: What would you like to do today?

And the thing is, I don’t know. What I do know is that I need caffeine, preferably in the form of a French Press and perhaps a newspaper, digital or physical. And then maybe a light yoga routine. But mostly I want to discourage that tempestuous voice, much like the devil sitting on my shoulder, telling me to slide back into the warmth from which I emerged for some ungodly reason.

I don’t do talky in the morning, either. In fact, I’m a completely different person— a total bitch, unenthusiastic and annoyed. Somewhere after an hour when my eyes have opened and I’ve accepted that there’s no way out, I might be decent and ready to take on the world. For my friends on the east coast, this means early afternoon before my mind is ready to converse at normal levels. It is possible, however, to communicate with me at earlier times, but it’s not advisable. You’re liable to hear a multitude of senseless mumbo jumbo or crass insults that are, truly, out of my control.

I wish I could point to a certain flow and say, “Ah, yes. This is what I do in the morning” besides scowling at sunlight and rolling over for a few more minutes of snooze. I recently downloaded the app Yoga Wake Up, and it’s a different way to get going in the morning— I can’t say that I’m fully invested in the idea, but I’ve tried it a couple times. I don’t hate it, which is saying something.

What’s your spark? What is your ritual? Send your ideas my way, so I can test them out.

*I’ll also add the disclaimer that I am, in no way shape or form, attempting to become a morning person. I’m merely trying to not feel homicidal.

 

Soundtrack:

Cher – If I Could Turn Back Time

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